First, I want to say thank you to everyone who has bought a
copy of “Monsters Live Amongst us”, I have been blown away by how many copies
have sold within the first few days and the feedback I have received from everyone.
So nice especially as proceeds are going to my friends Gofundme page, to enable
him to bury his Mother respectfully.
Many years ago I was totally in the grip of a Narcissistic
abuser but I actually did not even realise it. This is a problem which so many
of my visiting clients experience, we are being abused and have been made to
feel so bad about ourselves, that we do not even see it.
However one night the
most incredible thing happened to me, I totally changed my situation as I was
inspired by something a friend said. I was able to turn my life around and I
stopped my abuser in their tracks, with just a change of thought.
I had been telling my friend what was happening to me and
she was taking a very positive and supportive approach. She told me a story of
how I should except my abuser as a dark light into my life and thank them for
all that they had done for me.
I listened and thought on the story she had told me how I
should approach my abuser with gratitude and thanks. So I decided that this would
be the way forward for me.
Then something
happened to me and I know that this was the turning point in my life. I realised
for the first time that this person had been using and abusing me and I had not
wanted to even see it. I was not the problem, they were. This person was a Narcissist and nothing I
could do would ever change that. They would never ever change as they did not
want to and the abuse would continue unless I did something. I could choose to approach
them with a positive attitude and see them as this great dark light who was actually
helping me, but what would that do?
Then it struck me. “If I approached them this way, it would just
allow them to abuse me even more and tie my mind and emotions up in further
knots. I could not take any more of their abuse. It was time to take back my
mind and my life back from them”
It was this thought which led me to make the following and
most empower act of my life.
My minds just seemed to clear and I lost all of my concerns
over confronting this person. I knew I had nothing more to lose and everything
to gain.
I found them, walked up to them and………I let them have it
with both heavily loaded and fully automatic barrels. I calmly and firmly told
them everything which I had discovered and realised about them, including how abusive
they had been to me and all of the other people within their lives. I did the one thing which a Narcissist cannot
stand, I confronted them with a huge shot of reality. I dragged them so far out of their own distorted
Narcissistic comfort zone and when I did this, they did the one thing I had
never seen them do. They froze, they
totally froze and were at a loss for words!!! It was incredible, I had held this
huge reality mirror up to this highly manipulative Narcissist and forced them
to face who they were and the number of people they had hurt and lives they had
destroyed.
As I continued I just felt all of my power and emotional control
return and I knew at this point in my life, that I had changed and I would
never be the same again. When I was
done, I walked away and new that the balance of power had totally shifted, this
person would never abuse me again.
The Narcissist now realising that the game was up, did the only
thing a Narcissist could do………….they fled leaving my life forever. As they knew
that their time of abusing me was over, there was no reason for them to remain
in my life. It was a real measure of this person and I had finally pulled their
Narcissist mask off and exposed them for who they really were.
I have always been thankful for my friend for the advice they
gave me that night, as it made brought it to my awareness that to eject an abuser from your
life, you do not do it by approaching them with positivity and kindness. You do
it by accepting that unless you change your mindset, stand your ground and
force your abuser into reality, it will never stop.
"The best book ever written about recovering from Narcissistic abuse"
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