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The 2 signs that you are being abused by a Narcissist and what you need to do




There are 2 very clear signs that you are in Narcissistic relationship and you already know what they are! The main problem is you do not wish to open your eyes or mind to them.  

The first and most obvious sign is that you are reading this post! The clearest and most telling evidence that you are suffering from sort form abuse is that you are doing research into whether your partner, boss or friend is a Narcissist! Basically, you are reading this for a reason, a really good one. 

Many years ago I first suspected that I was being abused by someone, I dug out some of my old therapy books, went online, spoke to other people and started reading blogs like this. All of this very much confirmed what I already knew was happening in my life, I was being abused. Just looking at the evidence gave me the validation of my thoughts that I needed. This is one of the main reasons why so many people suffer for so long, they do not want to look into the great abyss for fear of what they may find.  Because when they discover their worst fears they have to take action or accept that they will be forever abused.

This is what actually make matters worse for you,  the fact that you do not wish to believe that real monsters live amongst us? Let me tell you, they do and they hide in plain sight? They masquerade as our friends, partners and work colleagues. They are the ones who will convince you that Narcissists do not exist in your world and feed into your ideas that their behaviour is normal. They will tell you that your research and suspicions are paranoid delusions and indeed it is you who is the one with issues and problems. This is why it is so difficult for many people to break out of the cycle of abuse, they have been convinced that not only is the abusive behaviour they are suffering from normal, but looking for evidence of it suggests that you are the problem. 

This brings us to the second and most obvious sign that you are in an abusive relationship, the person in your life is abusing you!!! 
Again this sounds really obvious, but actually, it is a key element that most people miss. Narcissists are so skilled in reality distortion and extreme gaslighting that you may have gotten to the point where you have become complacent about their abuse. Ask yourself these questions, do they casually put you down to others through humour and then deny you, your hurt feelings by telling you that you do not possess a sense of humour yourself?  Do you find yourself agreeing to all manner of things that you do not want to do? Knowing that this person will act hurt and refuse to talk to you until you agree to them. Then when you do agree to them you are told that you are "a good partner or friend", this is called conditioning and it is abuse. Are your opinions and thoughts dismissed by this person and you no longer defend them as you feel that they do not carry any value any more?  They have robbed you of your self-confidence, this is also abuse. In a Narcissistic relationship, abuse can be so subtle, that it may have already become invisible to you. 

So what do you do, if you suspect that we are in an abusive relationship? The first thing that you have to do is to allow yourself to hold the thought that you are being abused and not to dismiss it!!!  Your thoughts are valuable and credible and they are your perception and reality of your world. It can be hard for many people to realise the value of their own thoughts and so many people will wish to rob you of them, especially if they risk being exposed as an abuser. I know it is hard and uncomfortable to open your eyes to these thoughts, as some times accepting your reality is painful. 
Reality is painful as it causes people to face the one thing that they fear more than anything else in this world and that is, change.  Accepting that you are being abused and are no longer willing to put up with this abuse means that you are accepting that you are going to have to take action and that can be really difficult for some people.  However, accepting that you are in an abusive relationship also means that you are starting to grow and develop and move forward in your life. When we start to hold new thoughts about ourselves and others they are the first building block that will allow you to start building new beliefs.

So be strong and challenge your old thoughts and beliefs. When you do this you will start to free your mind from the distorted reality that someone else has locked it within. 

Always remember that waking yourself up to the reality of abuse is the first step to moving away from and stopping it. 

Find out more about how you can break away from abuse.    




Read "Monsters Live Amongst Us"

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This is a first of its kind self-help book for defeating Narcissistic abuse.

 It has already been described as:-

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To read a sample or purchase click here